Life Lesson #2

...Confessing faults is a good thing...

This event happened in high school and was my first real "hit in the face" experience with true confession and the pain one goes through when doing it.

So I wrote on her book, “ Susie likes Dan.” In our high school English class Susie was handing in her homework assignment. We were good friends for many years and I thought I’d tease her a little. I mean, she did like Dan. So I, in typical high school boy fashion, teased her by writing the evidence on her textbook cover.
When she came back all the Fury of Girl came forth from her mouth, body, expression. She demanded, “WHO WROTE THIS??” over and over. I was totally shocked at her reaction. She looked really hurt and vulnerable. It was the first time I had seen her this upset…and I was the cause of it even though I meant no harm. Looking around the room she came full circle and asked me point blank did I do it.
“No.”
Wonderfully, that got me off her radar screen. If I remember, tears did come down her face after that. I couldn’t believe it, I was flabbergasted the rest of the day. Not only had I upset a really good friend, I had sinned against my God by blatantly lying. The guilt was pressing on my chest heavier and heavier as the day went by.

That night I cried and cried. I was so upset at myself for doing it, but more upset...and ashamed..that I had lied point blank! Ahh...the lie of convenience. There was no way out of this one. There were no alternative stories I could tell. In fact, none of these thoughts even came to my brain. The only thing that haunted me was that I had injured my Lord Jesus. My life belonged to Him and I was His servant. That day I fell short of His glory. I determined in myself that regardless of the outcome I would confess to Susie the next day when I saw her. Sure, it was easy after the tears dried up to feel resolute, to feel like "Yosh! I'm going in!" But then the next day came....

...and guess who the first person I saw when I walked in the doors: Susie. I had NEVER seen her first thing in the morning the entire school year. But today, there she was. Note: when you lie to someone it's very hard to look at them. I walked right up to her, having crucified my flesh the night before and all morning, and said, "Hi Susie. Listen, I just wanted you to know that I was the one who wrote that message on your book yesterday. I lied and I'm sorry." I expected the Wrath of Girl II: The Second Coming to come pouring down on me and I was ready to accept any reaction she had. I mean, homegirl was about to punch someone the other day. This is what she said:

"Thanks Duane, that's all I wanted to know. See ya..."

...dude....

I was shocked. I was floored even. Now, some of you reading this might think, "whoa..he got off the hook big time." no no no...oh ye of simple minds and placated hearts! In hindsight I believe that if Susie had reacted negatively and laid the smackdown on me, then that would have given my flesh opportunity to rise to bitterness, anger, or a host of other things. Nay, my punishment began the moment I lied and ended the moment I confessed. You see, when the Holy Spirit convicts it pushes you towards repentance. This repentance, if truly from the Lord, will unalterably push you to action to right the wrongs you've done. If not, then you should question the authenticity of your so-called "repentance/confession." It was more unbearable for me to carry around the lie and the truth of me telling the lie than facing my good friend. I was prepared for anything...my future relationship and witness (everyone knew I was a Christian) lay in my God's hands.

When our attitude towards a situation is right, then God will be glorified and we will grow. Had my attitude been one of greater fear of my friend's reaction than God's judgment, I dare say the outcome would have been a world different. But only by the grace of the Lord did I make my sin God centered. In other words, guilt and repentance came from a heart desiring to be right with God because he was the center of my universe. Thus when I walked away from my "center", I was walking away from my God. It did not come from a desire of me wanting to be right in the eyes of my friend. Consider what the prodigal son says:

And the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against Heaven and before you, and am no more worthy to be called your son.
(Luk 15:21)

The son realized against whom he really did sin. He wasn't so concerned with his actions against his earthly father as he was with his actions against his heavenly Father. So too should we be. When we sin, we should not feel guilty because we got caught, or because our reputation might go down the drain. But rather, we feel godly sorrow because we've disappointed the One who loves us so...the one who poured out crimson rivers to wash away the evil we just committed. And when we do this:

But the father said to his servants, Bring the best robe and put it on him. And put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf here and kill it. And let us eat and be merry, for this my son was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found. And they began to be merry.
(Luk 15:22-24)

Jesus will welcome us with laughter, joy, and love.

Thanks Dad...