Oh, the choices

A rare moment in the history of a Singaporean MRT train...weep my friends...weep.

So I'm at school with all the teachers today going through training for our new Student Management Information System (SMIS, for the acronymly inclined out there). Name, address, date of birth, blah blah blah...you know, all the normal stuff one has to fill out. One would think that after filling out this information like a gazillon times in one's lifetime that the world over would know everything about you. I've got applications, registrations, publications, and other "ations" out there somewhere. Anyway, I digress....

The form had some interesting fields that had to be filled out. One is nationality. I looked for American, but it wasn't a listed option. I saw African, Japanese, Chinese, Brazillian (I think), but no American. I left that option blank, although I was tempted to tick Japanese. I figured if the office staff looked me up on their records one day they'd think I was a new Japanese teacher (with a weird name, of course) Then, I'd pop in during their coffe break to freak them out.

Another option I had to choose was whether I was an active or inactive teacher. Hmmm....let's think about this. If you came into my class and saw me dead in my chair with my students quietly doing their work, I guess I'd be inactive. Other than that, wasn't really sure what that option was all about.

My favorite option was color. This was right under the nationality option. So I, as well as everyone else in the room, figured it meant racial or ethinic or...haha...skin color. I clicked the scroll option and BAM....there they were! About 70+ options of colors to choose from! I mean, if you asked me what color I am, I'd say I'm black. But this baby had so many to choose from. Some of my favorite follow:

Dimslate (This sounds like an insult. "What color are you?" "Oh, well I'm a dimslate." ".....")

Hotpink (*cough*)

Chocolate (This would answer the question one of my students asked me the other day: "Teacher, can I eat you?")

PapayaWhip (What in the world does this color look like?)

Fuchsia (Yes, I am royalty)

Palewhite (Well, there it is! Inactive teacher)

Metallic (enter stage right: Terminator Teacher Part 3: The Reckoning)

In the end, there were so many choices to choose from, I decided to choose the first color on the drop down list:

Transparent.

This way, if ever the principal wants to see me in a meeting, he won't be able to.

Feeling Misunderstood?...

Here are 6 PowerPoints (pun definitely intended) to get over it:
1 O Lord, you have examined me, and you know me.

2 You alone know when I sit down and when I get up. You read my thoughts from far away.

3 You watch me when I travel and when I rest. You are familiar with all my ways.

4 Even before there is a {single} word on my tongue, you know all about it, Lord.

5 You are all around me—in front of me and in back of me. You lay your hand on me.

6 Such knowledge is beyond my grasp. It is so high I cannot reach it.

prepared by King David (Psalms 139:1-6) using PowerPoint for Windows 1.0

inspired by someone who constantly needs to remember this

posted by the one who did the inspiring

Oh Lord, How Do I Love Thee?...

I'm not sure what true friendship is, but I think maybe it's something like this...

It is not with doubtful but with assured awareness, O Lord, that I love you. Your Word struck into my heart and from that moment I loved you. Besides this, all about me, heaven and earth and all that they contain proclaim that I should love you, and their message never ceases to sound in the ears of all humankind, so that there is no excuse for any not to love you. But, more than all this, you will have mercy on whom you will have mercy and will show compassion to whom you show compassion (Romans 9:15). But if it were not for your mercy, heaven and earth would cry your praises to deaf ears.

But what do I love when I love you? Not the beauty of body nor the gracefulness of temporal rhythm, not the brightness of light so friendly to the eyes, not the sweet and various melodies of songs, not the fragrance of flowers and ointments and spices, not manna and honey; not limbs receptive to bodily embraces. It is not these I love when I love my God. and yet, when I love him, I do love a kind of light, melody, fragrance, food, embrace; for he is a light, a melody, a fragrance, a food, an embracement in my inner self – where that light shines into my soul which no place can contain, and where that voice sounds which time does not sweep away, and where that fragrance breathes which no wind scatters, and where that flavour is relished which eating does not diminish, and where that embrace is felt which is not severed by fulfilment of desire. This is what I love when I love my God.

-St. Augustine

I Trust You Jesus. I Trust You...

Click Here To Play

I don't know what to say, but please Lord you have your way,

for you know what's best for me, help me to see.

Life has not been easy, burdens they fall on me,

but you know what's best for me, help me to see.

-Sheldon Blackman, The Love Circle

School Of Prayer Students (SOPS)

...Keep going....Keep going....Keep going....Keep going...Keep going...Keep....going...

You may pray for an hour and still not pray. You may meet God for a moment and then be in touch with Him all day. --Fredrik Wisloff

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go. -- Abraham Lincoln

Always respond to every impulse to pray. The impulse to pray may come when you are reading or when you are battling with a text. I would make an absolute law of this – always obey such an impulse. --Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Those who know God the best are the richest and most powerful in prayer. Little acquaintance with God, and strangeness and coldness to Him, make prayer a rare and feeble thing. --E. M. Bounds

When a Christian shuns fellowship with other Christians, the devil smiles. When he stops studying the Bible, the devil laughs. When he stops praying, the devil shouts for joy. --Corrie Ten Boom

Pray, and let God worry. -- Martin Luther

Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons; but they are helpless against our prayers. --J. Sidlow Baxter

O Lord, How Long?

Click Here To Play

"O.....Before this time another year, I may be gone, in some lonesome graveyard, O Lord! how long...?"

I recently met one of my fellow church goers at Vivo City. We began chatting about stuff, shared inspiring stories, etc. What I remember most is what I said to this person at the end of our conversation...

"You know, the one thing that has kept me going in the Lord all this time? You know why I have the same testimony as our pastors [of not ever once having the thought of turning back on Jesus, or going to church]? One major reason is because of this..."

(I then looked around Page One...nice bookshop, btw)

"One day, all of this...all these books, all this fashion, food, shopping, people, culture, war, debates, stress, pain, careers, school, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, etc....one day all of this will be gone. What else IN the world is there to turn to?" Then I turned and went to eat some economical bee hoon. So much for dramatic endings...

I find it inspiring to keep the thought in my heart that today may be my last day on this planet...that in one more year I may be in some lonesome graveyard. Yea, I think if everyone thought like this we might not get so angry, we might say, "I love you" a little more, we might smile a little more, we might forgive in an instant instead of having to "pray" about it (as if one needs to pray about whether one should forgive). We might actually start acting like people destined for another world...a city with foundations not built with men's hands.

Alas, I am no where near keeping this thought at the forefront of my mind. Many days I regret the things I've said or done, or haven't said or haven't done. I got too angry, I rolled my eyes at someone, I allowed another person to frustrate me and, as a result, walk around with a clouded face which, in turn, shuns others away, etc, etc. You know, all the petty stuff that makes us humans.

I suppose thats why funerals are so powerful. We start to think of all the things we should have done, should have said, should have tried. Why not do, say, and try them now? I gotta ask myself that question more often...

Those of you with your family by your side, take heed! Treat your family today as if it was the last day you'd ever see them! And...

(I'd better stop now....a little girl once told me the way not to get homesick is not to think of home.)

Psalms Are Good

King David is a man after God’s own heart. He was a worshipper first and foremost. What glorious praise and honor he would bestow upon Jehovah! Yet this man said and went through, quite possibly, some of the most profound, deeply wounding, painful statements ever to grace the pages of the bible. And he is not alone in the 66 books we turn to for comfort (or at least we should turn to comfort). Jeremiah was known as the lamenting prophet. I mean, the brother wrote a book called, “Lamentations.” I mean, come on. What of Paul? He himself wrote to one of the churches of all the problems and pains he and his crew were going through in bringing the gospel to the then world. You know, Jesus wept. Jesus had sorrow so much that He was nigh to death in the garden. And wouldn’t you know!...Jesus had his best friends around him! The men he had loved for 3 years, day and night, through thick and thin!...oh, how they rushed to His side when he prayed, “Father, not my will, but thy will be done.” NOT.

Jesus was solo at His moment of greatest need. Moreover, when that situation worsened to Him being tried, beat, and crucified all His close buddies split. Let every Christian, every believer, every child of God hear this and hear this well: There will never come a time, at least in my short life thus far, when you can firmly and confidently rest assured that there will be other persons to lean on in times of trouble, tribulation, or suffering. I’ve seen church folk come to church (and not just in Singapore which, mind you, is only 2 out of 31 years of my “church” experience) and fall in the arms of other believers for comfort, talking about issues they face, getting help, advice, prayer even to guide them through their life stories. This is a good thing – it is what the family of God is about. If we don’t have each other, what have we? Well that’s my point: “You’ll never know God is all you need until God is all you have.” In the garden of Gethsemane our Lord faced imminent death. All that He had done in His life up to that point was indicative of His love for mankind. And yet, His life ended with Him being alone, cold, bloodied, and forsaken on a piece of wood stuck in a ground with His “friends” nowhere to be found. What shoulder did He have? What “gathering” was there for Him? He didn’t care about any of that stuff…He had a mission, a purpose. You and me. This love kept Him on the cross.

It is interesting to me that we would desire and recognize the need to follow Jesus’ example in everything except bearing our cross. Did He not command us to bear our cross and follow Him? Yes, the Son of God did many examples – healings, feedings, resurrection, etc. – while He was alive. This is all fine and good. But it wasn’t until He died that the full recompense of all that pain manifested itself to the world. As He said:

Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honor. Now is my soul troubled…
(John 12:23-27)

My point is simple: I’ve observed that one could mistakenly think the seasons of traveling along life’s journey solo would one day give way to walking hand in hand – or shoulder to shoulder – with others on the same path and NEVER have times of lonliness, or misunderstanding from others, or just bearing the pressures of life alone again. What a silly thought. If that were true, I suppose we could wipe out about 1/3 of the psalms of David. What a weak man he was to complain, wail, cry, and admit his troubles! (Now who in their right mind would say such a thing...)

Ahh, but we cannot stop here. We must read the other 2/3 of the book. This is what makes life worth living – that at the end of the day, at the end of our strength, at the end of all things there will be our Jesus who paid the cost for our redemption. And when we see Him…when I see Him…I know what He’ll say: “Been there, done that. Come ‘ere kid…” (I’m sure He’ll say lots of other things, but I hope that’s one of them. With eternity on our side, I’m sure it’ll come out sooner or later…if there is a sooner or later in eternity.)

Random | modnaR

This ad was for a hair gel. It is supposed to help people stay messed up all day...as if the thought of a normal day is old-fashioned, we now have gel to mess people up all day! *sigh* Truly, we are living in the end times.

1. I find it much more fulfilling encouraging others than doing so to myself. In fact, it is when I am going through rough patches in life that encouraging, helping, and serving others brings me to a whole new level. When you forget about yourself and your issues (which, in the existential scheme of things, is quite small) and focus on others, I think a little bit of heaven invades your heart. Nice...

2. Someone I know almost had a nervous breakdown recently. For over an hour we talked on the phone. In the end, all was as well as it could be, but I learned some valuable tidbits about how the human mind works. I am convinced that the mind is the source of all victory as well as defeat. Fear, when left to breed unchecked, will utterly destroy your sense of inner peace in spite of your knowledge of God’s promises. Faith, when growing and active, will ultimately propel your life forward in spite of the manifest evidence of a discouraging environment surrounding you. This person had such a fearful “faith” of all the terrible things happening to him/her that life seemed unbearable. Tears coupled with sobbing cries of hopelessness filled my phone. Silence was my only repartee during brief moments of the conversation. Why? Was I mute? Did I lack words? No. I knew not what to say because this person was so very convinced that how he/she was perceiving the situation was true I could not see a way past the ironclad gate of the mind which trapped them so. A man is sorely convinced that the sky is yellow. Should you tell him, "No it isn't, it's blue," would he not promptly reply, "No it isn't, it's yellow"? The mind is a powerful thing. Do NOT let your mind rule you. Rule your mind. A quote:

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.” –James Allen

3. I had my Japanese school farewell party the other night. Natsukashii ne…this is my final year with the Japanese school and accordingly the leaving teachers said their farewells. I said mine, quite moving I think it was. For me, Japan has been 4 years of my life: 2 in Kumamoto, 2 here in the Japanese school. Sitting there listening to the speeches, I couldn’t understand 80% of what they were saying. So, I did what I always used to do in Japan when sitting through speeches I didn't understand: think about something else. I started thinking about all the stuff I did in Japan. Then about all the stuff I just used to do in life.

a) Go running.
b) Play taiko.
c) Build R/C cars and race them.
d) Train on my mountain bike and road bike. Entered 2 races…
e) Was a nature reserve ranger. Fed baby bats, birds, and snakes.
f) Volunteered at an aquarium. In charge of the nurse sharks and petting tank.
g) President of film club in my high school. Used to video our school’s ice hockey team. (dude, that sport is rough)
h) Changed the oil in my family’s cars. Spark plugs too. Batteries, umm…
i) Cut grass every week. Rake leaves every fall. Shovel snow every winter. I always smile at the men doing ‘yard’ work here in Singapore. I envy them sometimes…but just wish I could show them THE RIGHT TOOLS TO USE.
j) Write 10 page letters (hand-written) to friends. With diagrams when I tried to explain something I wanted them to understand. I was long-handed long before I was long-winded.
k) Play the organ, piano, and drums in my church since the age of 14. Played in 5 different churches over my lifetime as the need arose and as my residence changed.
l) Did paintballing with my boy-scout troop…and my uncle. Dude, I love paintballing.
m) Camped out in summer, winter, fall, spring. Hiked and camped for 4 days and 3 nights with other freshmen before entering college. Nope..we didn’t shower for the whole time (we did find a rockin’ water hole on day 2, though…). Ever wonder how to brush your teeth and take care of yourself in the woods? Come, I teach you many things…
n) Owned about 6 cars in my life, and took care of ‘em. Subaru is the best!
o) Traveled around my Japanese town and state on my own for the entire 2 years I was there.
p) Cook my own food. I was a grocery shopping expert. Eating out was like twice a month.

Ok, so this list kinda wandered off point. But the good thing is it brought back memories. Good ones…

What Dress Will You Be Wearing?

...the view from me parent's bedroom back in me hometown back in the states...

I do not find that pictures of physical catastrophe - that sign in the clouds, those heavens rolled up like a scroll - help one so much as the naked idea of judgment. We cannot always be excited. We can, perhaps, trains ourselves to ask more and more often how the thing which we are saying or doing (or failing to do) at each moment will look when the irresistible light streams in upon it; that light which is so different from the light of this world - and yet, even now, we know just enough of it to take it into account. Women sometimes have the problem of trying to judge by artificial light how a dress will look by daylight. That is very like the problem of all of us: to dress our souls not for the electric lights of the present world but for the daylight of the next. The good dress is the one that will face that light. For that light will last longer.

-C.S. Lewis, The World's Last Night.

Ohisashi buri desu ne...

Wow, I haven't blogged in a while.