Untitled

Couldn't think of a title for this one. It's been so long and so much has happened since the solitary bus that I have to control the fingers tonight or they'll be typing all night.

One thing I've learned is that humans are creatures of habit. And it takes a while to form habits, whether they are good or bad. Of course, bad habits are easier to form than good ones. Because of our nature (that of sin) bad habits naturally find a home within our routines without much complications from our consciences. Good habits, on the other hand, usually have to be deliberately practiced until they become a part of our person.

Blogging, for example. I wish I could blog everyday because now I'm finding that writing about the day's events - whether they are simple observations or pointed stories - gives my soul a rest/peace unknown to me in a long time. I suppose with years of solitude comes an unique desire for fellowship/understanding that is unknown to those who have constant and consistent fellowship and understanding from others(be it friends or family). Writing is a great way to compensate I suppose. Of course, one must be careful of going off on countless digressions of discussions about writing itself without doing the actual writing which is probably what is happening right now so I think this will sto...

*ahem*

Funerals. Sad, real, and life changing every time I go to one. I grieve for the family that has lost. Indeed, it is for them and them alone that we gather. The Lord encourages us to rejoice when a brother or sister goes home. Still, being human we must give way to those tears and feelings of loss that inevitably come. To have someone alive with you for so long suddenly not be there anymore must be terrible.

I've not experienced that before, bless the Lord. Thing is I'm so far away from everyone I feel close too that even if something did happen to them (or me, for that matter) I dare say the impact wouldn't be as great as if we were around each other. Yes, that sounds "...cold and heartless...", but the reality is such that I haven't seen my loved ones for about a year now. More than that I've been in Asia for about 3 years. God forbid anything happen to my family while I'm here...ever see Forrest Gump? Remember what he did when he got word that his mom was sick? He jumped off the boat and started to swim to shore...from the middle of the ocean. Yes, I am in Singapore and am laboring with my fellow brothers and sisters in this land. But should something occur that beckons me home, I'm jumpin...my family means more to me than life itself.

It's tough having my heart in two (sometimes three if I include my Japanese brothers and sisters) places at once. I suppose when one goes through as many experiences as I have that to forget everyone and everything in the past would mean part of me dying. I'll never know what it means to be born, live, and experience only one community, one group of friends, common experiences with those around me, being able to relate "what it was like when..." Life is a blanket and the threads in my blanket are so many that not one stands out more than the other. Except for my Lord Jesus.

Whenever I go to funerals I can't help but picture me in the casket. "Er, you gotta death wish son?" you may be thinking. Haha...no. Our pastor has said something I've thought about all my life: what would I like to be engraved on my tombstone? What will people say about me when I die? Who will even know me....? (That last one is quite sobering because when one has moved around the world, schools, jobs, and situations as much as I have one doesn't really have a foundation of "people that know you". Indeed, if something were to happen to me over here it would take forever for those who know me to find out. Everyone that I've known has no connection to each other other than my presence in their lives. Perhaps I should start making a list of who to call for my family back home....like a phone tree. haha.)
What this does is push me to do more in my life now. It motivates, provokes, convicts, and boosts my desire to do 500% more with everyone and everything in my life now than before. Even on the last night of the most recent funeral, I rushed to 7-11, bought a phone card, and called my mom to ask about everyone in my family. Not everything is peaches and roses, but I was at ease just to know things were stable thus far. Again, there was that tug of my body and mind being here, but my heart with me mums, me sis, and me pops back home. Praise God they are ok.

The fact is one day we're all going to be pusing up daisies. So what we do now counts...it has to count. Our pastor has a theme for us: "make my life count" It is a prayer of sorts...Lord, make my life count. I think that any person who is actively following Christ can be assured that their life is indeed counting. Of course, we can always be doing more than what we currently are. But never let yourself feel that what you are currently doing isn't worth anything.

The bible declares that what you do for Christ will echo in eternity. Have you thought about how to apply what you studied in your bible in your life today? You do well and God will open doors for you to apply it. This, in turn, will echo in eternity as worship to the Lord. However little, however big (2 terms, by the way, which are relevant. What is little to us may be big to God and vice versa.) Do NOT let the enemy, your flesh, or others walk over the sacrifice, the duty, the commitment, and/or the choices you make in serving YOUR God. Why do I say this?...

One day, after your funeral, there will be only two standing face to face when deciding your eternal fate, be it reward or be it condemnation: You and Jesus. So now tell me, who shall you live for? To whose standards shall you be measured against? It is the Lord Jesus Christ. And because He loves you more than life, having died for you, your life does count. Your heavenly Father loves you....and you count because HE says so....cool, eh?

Alas, I shall end this here because I could go on and on forever with topics galore. Hmmm...maybe one day I'll do that. I've got boxes full of notebooks full of studies full of things like this full of scriptures full of....well, yea. I should have them shipped over.

peace---