Oh Lord, How Do I Love Thee?...

I'm not sure what true friendship is, but I think maybe it's something like this...

It is not with doubtful but with assured awareness, O Lord, that I love you. Your Word struck into my heart and from that moment I loved you. Besides this, all about me, heaven and earth and all that they contain proclaim that I should love you, and their message never ceases to sound in the ears of all humankind, so that there is no excuse for any not to love you. But, more than all this, you will have mercy on whom you will have mercy and will show compassion to whom you show compassion (Romans 9:15). But if it were not for your mercy, heaven and earth would cry your praises to deaf ears.

But what do I love when I love you? Not the beauty of body nor the gracefulness of temporal rhythm, not the brightness of light so friendly to the eyes, not the sweet and various melodies of songs, not the fragrance of flowers and ointments and spices, not manna and honey; not limbs receptive to bodily embraces. It is not these I love when I love my God. and yet, when I love him, I do love a kind of light, melody, fragrance, food, embrace; for he is a light, a melody, a fragrance, a food, an embracement in my inner self – where that light shines into my soul which no place can contain, and where that voice sounds which time does not sweep away, and where that fragrance breathes which no wind scatters, and where that flavour is relished which eating does not diminish, and where that embrace is felt which is not severed by fulfilment of desire. This is what I love when I love my God.

-St. Augustine

I Trust You Jesus. I Trust You...

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I don't know what to say, but please Lord you have your way,

for you know what's best for me, help me to see.

Life has not been easy, burdens they fall on me,

but you know what's best for me, help me to see.

-Sheldon Blackman, The Love Circle

School Of Prayer Students (SOPS)

...Keep going....Keep going....Keep going....Keep going...Keep going...Keep....going...

You may pray for an hour and still not pray. You may meet God for a moment and then be in touch with Him all day. --Fredrik Wisloff

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go. -- Abraham Lincoln

Always respond to every impulse to pray. The impulse to pray may come when you are reading or when you are battling with a text. I would make an absolute law of this – always obey such an impulse. --Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Those who know God the best are the richest and most powerful in prayer. Little acquaintance with God, and strangeness and coldness to Him, make prayer a rare and feeble thing. --E. M. Bounds

When a Christian shuns fellowship with other Christians, the devil smiles. When he stops studying the Bible, the devil laughs. When he stops praying, the devil shouts for joy. --Corrie Ten Boom

Pray, and let God worry. -- Martin Luther

Men may spurn our appeals, reject our message, oppose our arguments, despise our persons; but they are helpless against our prayers. --J. Sidlow Baxter

O Lord, How Long?

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"O.....Before this time another year, I may be gone, in some lonesome graveyard, O Lord! how long...?"

I recently met one of my fellow church goers at Vivo City. We began chatting about stuff, shared inspiring stories, etc. What I remember most is what I said to this person at the end of our conversation...

"You know, the one thing that has kept me going in the Lord all this time? You know why I have the same testimony as our pastors [of not ever once having the thought of turning back on Jesus, or going to church]? One major reason is because of this..."

(I then looked around Page One...nice bookshop, btw)

"One day, all of this...all these books, all this fashion, food, shopping, people, culture, war, debates, stress, pain, careers, school, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, etc....one day all of this will be gone. What else IN the world is there to turn to?" Then I turned and went to eat some economical bee hoon. So much for dramatic endings...

I find it inspiring to keep the thought in my heart that today may be my last day on this planet...that in one more year I may be in some lonesome graveyard. Yea, I think if everyone thought like this we might not get so angry, we might say, "I love you" a little more, we might smile a little more, we might forgive in an instant instead of having to "pray" about it (as if one needs to pray about whether one should forgive). We might actually start acting like people destined for another world...a city with foundations not built with men's hands.

Alas, I am no where near keeping this thought at the forefront of my mind. Many days I regret the things I've said or done, or haven't said or haven't done. I got too angry, I rolled my eyes at someone, I allowed another person to frustrate me and, as a result, walk around with a clouded face which, in turn, shuns others away, etc, etc. You know, all the petty stuff that makes us humans.

I suppose thats why funerals are so powerful. We start to think of all the things we should have done, should have said, should have tried. Why not do, say, and try them now? I gotta ask myself that question more often...

Those of you with your family by your side, take heed! Treat your family today as if it was the last day you'd ever see them! And...

(I'd better stop now....a little girl once told me the way not to get homesick is not to think of home.)

Psalms Are Good

King David is a man after God’s own heart. He was a worshipper first and foremost. What glorious praise and honor he would bestow upon Jehovah! Yet this man said and went through, quite possibly, some of the most profound, deeply wounding, painful statements ever to grace the pages of the bible. And he is not alone in the 66 books we turn to for comfort (or at least we should turn to comfort). Jeremiah was known as the lamenting prophet. I mean, the brother wrote a book called, “Lamentations.” I mean, come on. What of Paul? He himself wrote to one of the churches of all the problems and pains he and his crew were going through in bringing the gospel to the then world. You know, Jesus wept. Jesus had sorrow so much that He was nigh to death in the garden. And wouldn’t you know!...Jesus had his best friends around him! The men he had loved for 3 years, day and night, through thick and thin!...oh, how they rushed to His side when he prayed, “Father, not my will, but thy will be done.” NOT.

Jesus was solo at His moment of greatest need. Moreover, when that situation worsened to Him being tried, beat, and crucified all His close buddies split. Let every Christian, every believer, every child of God hear this and hear this well: There will never come a time, at least in my short life thus far, when you can firmly and confidently rest assured that there will be other persons to lean on in times of trouble, tribulation, or suffering. I’ve seen church folk come to church (and not just in Singapore which, mind you, is only 2 out of 31 years of my “church” experience) and fall in the arms of other believers for comfort, talking about issues they face, getting help, advice, prayer even to guide them through their life stories. This is a good thing – it is what the family of God is about. If we don’t have each other, what have we? Well that’s my point: “You’ll never know God is all you need until God is all you have.” In the garden of Gethsemane our Lord faced imminent death. All that He had done in His life up to that point was indicative of His love for mankind. And yet, His life ended with Him being alone, cold, bloodied, and forsaken on a piece of wood stuck in a ground with His “friends” nowhere to be found. What shoulder did He have? What “gathering” was there for Him? He didn’t care about any of that stuff…He had a mission, a purpose. You and me. This love kept Him on the cross.

It is interesting to me that we would desire and recognize the need to follow Jesus’ example in everything except bearing our cross. Did He not command us to bear our cross and follow Him? Yes, the Son of God did many examples – healings, feedings, resurrection, etc. – while He was alive. This is all fine and good. But it wasn’t until He died that the full recompense of all that pain manifested itself to the world. As He said:

Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honor. Now is my soul troubled…
(John 12:23-27)

My point is simple: I’ve observed that one could mistakenly think the seasons of traveling along life’s journey solo would one day give way to walking hand in hand – or shoulder to shoulder – with others on the same path and NEVER have times of lonliness, or misunderstanding from others, or just bearing the pressures of life alone again. What a silly thought. If that were true, I suppose we could wipe out about 1/3 of the psalms of David. What a weak man he was to complain, wail, cry, and admit his troubles! (Now who in their right mind would say such a thing...)

Ahh, but we cannot stop here. We must read the other 2/3 of the book. This is what makes life worth living – that at the end of the day, at the end of our strength, at the end of all things there will be our Jesus who paid the cost for our redemption. And when we see Him…when I see Him…I know what He’ll say: “Been there, done that. Come ‘ere kid…” (I’m sure He’ll say lots of other things, but I hope that’s one of them. With eternity on our side, I’m sure it’ll come out sooner or later…if there is a sooner or later in eternity.)

Random | modnaR

This ad was for a hair gel. It is supposed to help people stay messed up all day...as if the thought of a normal day is old-fashioned, we now have gel to mess people up all day! *sigh* Truly, we are living in the end times.

1. I find it much more fulfilling encouraging others than doing so to myself. In fact, it is when I am going through rough patches in life that encouraging, helping, and serving others brings me to a whole new level. When you forget about yourself and your issues (which, in the existential scheme of things, is quite small) and focus on others, I think a little bit of heaven invades your heart. Nice...

2. Someone I know almost had a nervous breakdown recently. For over an hour we talked on the phone. In the end, all was as well as it could be, but I learned some valuable tidbits about how the human mind works. I am convinced that the mind is the source of all victory as well as defeat. Fear, when left to breed unchecked, will utterly destroy your sense of inner peace in spite of your knowledge of God’s promises. Faith, when growing and active, will ultimately propel your life forward in spite of the manifest evidence of a discouraging environment surrounding you. This person had such a fearful “faith” of all the terrible things happening to him/her that life seemed unbearable. Tears coupled with sobbing cries of hopelessness filled my phone. Silence was my only repartee during brief moments of the conversation. Why? Was I mute? Did I lack words? No. I knew not what to say because this person was so very convinced that how he/she was perceiving the situation was true I could not see a way past the ironclad gate of the mind which trapped them so. A man is sorely convinced that the sky is yellow. Should you tell him, "No it isn't, it's blue," would he not promptly reply, "No it isn't, it's yellow"? The mind is a powerful thing. Do NOT let your mind rule you. Rule your mind. A quote:

“A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.” –James Allen

3. I had my Japanese school farewell party the other night. Natsukashii ne…this is my final year with the Japanese school and accordingly the leaving teachers said their farewells. I said mine, quite moving I think it was. For me, Japan has been 4 years of my life: 2 in Kumamoto, 2 here in the Japanese school. Sitting there listening to the speeches, I couldn’t understand 80% of what they were saying. So, I did what I always used to do in Japan when sitting through speeches I didn't understand: think about something else. I started thinking about all the stuff I did in Japan. Then about all the stuff I just used to do in life.

a) Go running.
b) Play taiko.
c) Build R/C cars and race them.
d) Train on my mountain bike and road bike. Entered 2 races…
e) Was a nature reserve ranger. Fed baby bats, birds, and snakes.
f) Volunteered at an aquarium. In charge of the nurse sharks and petting tank.
g) President of film club in my high school. Used to video our school’s ice hockey team. (dude, that sport is rough)
h) Changed the oil in my family’s cars. Spark plugs too. Batteries, umm…
i) Cut grass every week. Rake leaves every fall. Shovel snow every winter. I always smile at the men doing ‘yard’ work here in Singapore. I envy them sometimes…but just wish I could show them THE RIGHT TOOLS TO USE.
j) Write 10 page letters (hand-written) to friends. With diagrams when I tried to explain something I wanted them to understand. I was long-handed long before I was long-winded.
k) Play the organ, piano, and drums in my church since the age of 14. Played in 5 different churches over my lifetime as the need arose and as my residence changed.
l) Did paintballing with my boy-scout troop…and my uncle. Dude, I love paintballing.
m) Camped out in summer, winter, fall, spring. Hiked and camped for 4 days and 3 nights with other freshmen before entering college. Nope..we didn’t shower for the whole time (we did find a rockin’ water hole on day 2, though…). Ever wonder how to brush your teeth and take care of yourself in the woods? Come, I teach you many things…
n) Owned about 6 cars in my life, and took care of ‘em. Subaru is the best!
o) Traveled around my Japanese town and state on my own for the entire 2 years I was there.
p) Cook my own food. I was a grocery shopping expert. Eating out was like twice a month.

Ok, so this list kinda wandered off point. But the good thing is it brought back memories. Good ones…

What Dress Will You Be Wearing?

...the view from me parent's bedroom back in me hometown back in the states...

I do not find that pictures of physical catastrophe - that sign in the clouds, those heavens rolled up like a scroll - help one so much as the naked idea of judgment. We cannot always be excited. We can, perhaps, trains ourselves to ask more and more often how the thing which we are saying or doing (or failing to do) at each moment will look when the irresistible light streams in upon it; that light which is so different from the light of this world - and yet, even now, we know just enough of it to take it into account. Women sometimes have the problem of trying to judge by artificial light how a dress will look by daylight. That is very like the problem of all of us: to dress our souls not for the electric lights of the present world but for the daylight of the next. The good dress is the one that will face that light. For that light will last longer.

-C.S. Lewis, The World's Last Night.

Ohisashi buri desu ne...

Wow, I haven't blogged in a while.

Soon, I'll be home...

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No more sadness, no more tears, no more darkness, no more fears.
I'm going to meet my savior, my brother and my friend.
I'm going to live forever, my joys will never end!

Lord, I'm coming home,
Lord, I'm coming home,
You have a place prepared for me, I'll dwell with you eternally,
Sit by the gates of glory, cause Lord I'm coming home...

It's time for me to take my rest, from life's unending race
I'm thankful that you took the time to bless me with your grace
You gave me time to understand your mercy and your love,
I now it's time for me to dwell with you above,

I'm coming home, Lord...

Father Forgive Them

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Having finished my bible study, there were points in our lessons that we talked about regarding the state of the world...how none of this was God's plan for mankind. 

Death, anger, fear, disease, poverty, lonliness, dispair, regret, lying, war, greed, lust, hedonism, having no hope...the world is in need of a savior.  Jesus Christ alone offers forgiveness.  My heart, during those lessons, were heavy with these cries:

Father, forgive them...for they do not know what they do.

Father, forgive us...for we do not what we know to do.

Father, forgive me...for I know what I must do, and do it not.

Father, give strength!...to do what needs to be done!

Father, give favor!...to reach those who know not your love!

Father, give time!...for there are so many more who may believe...

Father, send peace...

...grace,

send the latter rain...

 

Love God? Who me?

...this is love...

Some writers use the word charity to describe not only Christian love between human beings, but also God's love for man and man's love for God. About the second of these two, people are often worried. They are told they ought to love God. They cannot find any such feeling in themselves. What are they to do?

The answer is the same as before. Act as if you did. Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings. Ask yourself, 'If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?' When you have found the answer, go and do it.

-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Got Humility?

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call 'humble' nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realise that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.

-C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The Discussion Is Continued by Mom!

Picture taken just before lift off of the right tower there...haha.

My mom is so cool. Just after having a deep discussion on the matter of which to do - be yourself, or be a Roman (in a Roman land) with some friends (over some ice cream, mind you), I get home and find this in my inbox from my mother. She had no idea i've been thinking and chatting with people recently about this same said topic. Hey mom, love ya! What you sent was spot on and totally a move of the Holy Spirit. Still...there is that nagging issue of abandoning one's own personality and characteristics when in an environment that doesn't understand or relate to those same said traits. Of course, this passage of scripture and prayer go much, much deeper than the surface level of the question at hand and thus answers the question for all intents and purposes. Still, though....I have questions...


When I am with the Jews, I become one of them so that I can bring them to Christ. When I am with those who follow the Jewish laws, I do the same, even though I am not subject to the law, so that I can bring them to Christ. When I am with the Gentiles who do not have the Jewish law, I fit in with them as much as I can. In this way, I gain their confidence and bring them to Christ. But I do not discard the law of God; I obey the law of Christ. When I am with those who are oppressed, I share their oppression so that I might bring them to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone so that I might bring them to Christ. (1 Cor 9:20-22 NLT)

Prayer: LORD, help me find common ground to reach others with the message of Your grace, mercy, and salvation. I need Your wisdom to know how far to go to identify with them, yet not compromise my integrity or our relationship. In every opportunity I encounter, help me clearly recognize Your leadership and follow Your dir ections with courage and confidence. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Outta site, outta mind....outta heart, gone.

A view somewhere around my house in America

I just finished viewing most of my family's blogs, myspaces, etc. Here are some things I found...

Pictures of:
- my new cousins, nieces, and nephews who I've never met
- my grandparents house in which 3 generations lived. One where I have fond memories of drinking my grandmother's Cool-Aid, watching my grandfather play Nintendo (after preaching that Sunday...he's so cool), and my sister, cuzs, aunts, and uncles just relaxing for the rest of the day in the 10+ rooms of their late 1800 house
- my father and his motorcycle chillin at a BBQ...I think he's surgically attached to his bike
- my aunts and uncles having fun
- my family visiting my grandfather in the hospital
- my moms talking to some person (who's back is to the camera...)
- the old parking lot in my grandparents home where we used to eat sunday after sunday as a big family
- my cousins all grown up and living large in college, about to graduate (will probably miss their graduation...) (dude...)
- my old church that I spent from 0 yrs to 23 yrs old in. The evangelists, the ministers, the adults who guided me in the ways of God. People who I've never met the likes of since. They taught me the sacredness of this faith in Christ.
- the altar in my church where I got the Holy Ghost...and my grandfather standing in the pulpit exhorting us to live holy, powerful, and radical lives in Christ
- my large family hugging, kissing, and laughing with one another
- my cousin on her first flying lesson high up in the sky
- my nieces, who I don't, giving my grandpops a massage in the hospital bed

A couple of months ago one of the children in my church here in Singapore was chatting with me online. They asked,
"Are you homesick? Do you get homesick?"
I replied,
"Sometimes...yes. Of course."
(she paused after that for a little while...and then)
"Well, just don't think about home, and you won't be sick!"

My pause after that was much, much longer....

Got Love?

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Now I may faith to make mountains fall, but if I lack love then I am nothing at all,

I can give away everything I possess, but am without love then I have no happiness,

I know I'm imperfect, and not without sin, but now that I'm older all childish things end...

Must Be Yourself In Foreign Land -or- When In Rome Do As Romans

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In my eyes I see a blur of things that others see so clearly,

in my strength I run away from things that cause my heart to fear.

Back and forth and back again unto the place where I began,

maybe I'm making this much harder than it is.

The 'ol Church Bulletin

These came with the disclaimer: "These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins and were announced in church services. Some old, some not." How true that is, I dunno. But I sure laughed my head off with some of 'em!

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs .
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days!
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance .
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"

I'm beginning to love this man...

...cause he writes how I think. Arg, now if I could only write like I think...

The reason why it can never succeed is this. God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine. A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion*. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing. - C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"

*let the reader understand that Mr. Lewis was most probably refering to the entire notion of a man's relationship [way of relating to God] with God when using the word "religion" in this passage.

I give up...

It is when the voices of both friend and foe become distant that I

I clearly hear the Voice behind them...calling. Speaking...listening.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want....

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, plaudits, or popularity. I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace is set, my destiny is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, yet my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of an enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when he comes to get his own, He will have no problem recognizing me.